I have both Apache and PHP set up manually, albeit the latter without CURL.
There is this jungle of instructions and explanations on extensions for PHP.
I have a very straightforward question - what do I need to do to enable CURL in a more dynamic way. I resent the idea of static linking, in fact I hate and avoid static linking like the plague. Is it possible to have my Apache and PHP understand that there is CURL in town? I can compile CURL if necessary.
I would like to know how to accomplish this without package management, i.e. building it all myself.
No you don't need to recompile.
there 3 different ways to enable/install php5-curl extension on Ubuntu. all of them are easy. here is the link to that. http://php.net/manual/en/install.pecl.php last 3 options starting with "compiling..." all works for you. apply any of them. get curl.so file in extensions directory of php installation. then edit related extension line in php.ini file. restart the apache.
btw, dpkg can not update the installation via deb/apt, because you didn't use precompiled packages so it's normal behaviour of apt.
why do you need to remove suhosin patch ?