I'm getting a lot of traffic that is crushing my tiny server. Is there something I can install that will allow me to examine my Apache traffic real-time? Ideally a web interface. I'd like to see what the requests are for and which ones are taking the most resources.
Apache's mod_status can help you. For more complex troubleshooting, you might need to customize format of your logs (e.g. include %D to it) and write some kind of parser.
Have you tried using Apache's extended status?
well you need to parse the apache logs, there are many tools to do that. I myself wrote a few awk scripts.
Just put in a file named: "apache_stats" and run it like: "./apache_stats ".
Check out http://mmonit.com/
M/Monit is paid, and offers a lot more features (and a more expansive GUI). Monit is free and allows you to monitor. You can get email alerts when your server load passes a certain threshold. I use this myself to monitor server load and respond accordingly.