So I'm pretty sure I set up my Virtual Hosts right, but they don't seem to be working.
Yes, I have uncommented the vhosts include from httpd.conf.
All I get when I try to access the virtual hosts is a browser "Page cannot be found page". If I start my Mac's apache server (sudo /usr/sbin/httpd -k start), I get an Apache 404 page when trying to access the virtual hosts.
I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling MAMP and I've tried editing the /etc/apache2/ httpd files, both to no avail.
All I had to do to fix this was open up httpd.conf and change the line that says "Listen 8888" to "Listen 80"
I got a theory on why they don't have it running on port 80 to begin with, but I figure in the interest of not spreading nasty rumours, I'll keep that theory to myself.
Another issue I came across: by default, MAMP sets the localhost/ directory to the MAMP/htdocs/ folder. Thing is, if you keep your files in another directory, your .htaccess files won't work. Why? Because in httpd.conf, AllowOverride All is only set on MAMP/htdocs by default. Set it at the main level, or on a specific directory, and all should be well.