Can't get mod_rewrite to work with ubuntu, have tried all the usual suspects (turning it on in config etc)

Stack,

I'm trying to install a local version of my website onto my laptop so I can do development work without terrifying my users and exploding the live site.

I went ahead and installed ubuntu on my laptop along with apache/mysql/php and downloaded my php files and database from my web server onto my laptop.

I went ahead and changed my etc/hosts file so my website domain name now points to my localhost and that seems to be working great.

However, for the life of me, I can't get my htaccess mod_rewrite directives to work. It is very frustrating because I know mod_rewrite is working since I went though a tutorial on turning it on in ubuntu (the tutorial included a simple test case to make sure it was running properly). The htaccess code works perfectly on my actual web server, but it just won't work on my local ubuntu install.

But enough talk, I'll let you see what I have in the htaccess file to whet your appetite:

# To set your custom php.ini, add the following line to this file:
# suphp_configpath /home/yourusername/path/to/php.ini

AuthUserFile /var/www/.htpasswd
AuthType Basic
AuthName "not allowed"

<Files ".htaccess">
  Require valid-user
</Files>

<Files "uploadpage.php">
  Require valid-user
</Files>

<Files "upload.php">
  Require valid-user
</Files>

ErrorDocument 404 /404.php

Options +FollowSymlinks 
RewriteEngine On
RewriteBase /
RewriteRule ^random/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ random.php?id=$1
RewriteRule ^new/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ new.php?id=$1
RewriteRule ^quickviewrandom/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ quickviewrandom.php?id=$1
RewriteRule ^quickviewnew/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ quickviewnew.php?id=$1
RewriteRule ^archive/previous-30-days/$ archive/previous-30-days.php
RewriteRule ^archive/previous-12-months/$ archive/previous-12-months.php
RewriteRule ^user/profile/(.*)/$ user/profile.php?username=$1
RewriteRule ^post/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ post.php?id=$1&%{QUERY_STRING}
RewriteRule ^direct/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ direct.php?id=$1
RewriteRule ^comments/([0-9]+)/(.*)$ comments.php?id=$1&%{QUERY_STRING}
RewriteRule ^top/([0-9]+)/$ top.php?page=$1
RewriteRule ^topweek/([0-9]+)/$ topweek.php?page=$1
RewriteRule ^fresh/([0-9]+)/$ fresh.php?page=$1
RewriteRule ^user/submitform/$ user/submitform.php
RewriteRule ^user/submit/(.*)/([0-9]+)/$ user/submit.php?username=$1&postlimit=$2
RewriteRule ^user/usercomments/(.*)/([0-9]+)/$ user/usercomments.php?username=$1&commentlimit=$2
RewriteRule ^user/favorites/(.*)/([0-9]+)/$ user/favorites.php?username=$1&favlimit=$2
RewriteRule ^user/friends/(.*)/([0-9]+)/$ user/friends.php?username=$1&friendlimit=$2
RewriteRule ^user/inbox/([0-9]+)/$ user/inbox.php?maillimit=$1&%{QUERY_STRING}
RewriteRule ^user/message/([0-9]+)/$ user/message.php?stackid=$1
RewriteRule ^link([^/]*).html$ rewrite.php?link=$1 [L]

RewriteCond %{QUERY_STRING} img_name=(.*) 
RewriteRule ^new\.php$ http://www.mydomain.com/404.php [R=301]
RewriteRule ^page\.php$ http://www.mydomain.com/404.php [R=301,L]

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{HTTP_HOST} ^mydomain\.com$ [NC]
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.mydomain.com/$1 [R=301,L]

Any thoughts on what I should try? Seriously, I'm open to anything at this point.

Strangely enough this rewrite rule works:

RewriteRule ^link([^/]*).html$ rewrite.php?link=$1 [L]

This was part of the tutorial I did for setting up mod_rewrite in ubuntu. The rest of the rules are my rules that are not working :-(