`ufw insert 1 deny to any` not working

ufw insert 1 deny to any
ufw enable
ufw status

Status output:

Status: active
Logging: on (high)
Default: deny (incoming), allow (outgoing), disabled (routed)
New profiles: skip

To                         Action      From
--                         ------      ----
Anywhere                   DENY IN     Anywhere
Anywhere (v6)              DENY IN     Anywhere (v6)

And yet I can pretty much rape the server from anywhere I want... what gives?

This is on a stock Ubuntu 14.04 server with nothing else installed. This is the /etc/network/interfaces file in case it helps:

auto lo
iface lo inet loopback

auto eth0

iface eth0 inet static
    address x.x.x.x/24
    gateway x.x.x.x

# Private network
iface eth0 inet static
  address 192.168.133.174/17

And here's iptables -L: http://pastie.org/9432829